Taboos in Gaming - Sex

What better place to start talking about taboos in gaming than with sex?

Sex plays a role in most fantasy literature and movies. The hero/heroine will inevitably end up knockin' boots with their love interest at some point. The author or director can handle it in a number of different ways, either implicitly or explicitly. Even in non-fantasy movies, sex and sexuality will often play a prominent role.

If sex and sexuality is so common in modern media and entertainment, why is it taboo during gaming?

Part of the taboo comes down to the stigma associated with being a gamer. The stigma of "nerdy, eternal virgin playing in their parents' basement." While this is a stereotype is rarely true, I think it still taints the idea of doing anything that could reinforce it.

Another distinction between media and gaming (as far as sex goes) is that within media it is one way. You are seeing/reading what the author or director wants you to see; you have little input into it. Within the context of a roleplaying game, you are suddenly very involved in what is going on. With an implicit sex scene, the camera fades to black and that's it. However, if it is explicit you are suddenly describing an intimate act within a group of people. This can cause the other players to be uncomfortable and can create a very awkward environment.

Another in the awkwardness comes down to the gender of the players. If everyone is the same gender then participating, even on an imaginary level, in a "sex scene" can make people incredibly uncomfortable, even if they are perfectly fine discussing sex outside of the game.

Additionally, the relationships within the group can be a problem, if not addressed properly. If you're playing in a game with a few couples, then how will advances made within the game, across couple lines, be handled out of the game? What level of detail becomes acceptable when you are involving someone else's significant other?

So how do you involve sex and sexuality in a game? The first step would be to make sure all the players agree to involve it. If people aren't comfortable with it, don't do it. You'll make everyone uncomfortable and less likely to show up. You need to gauge what their comfort level is of the group and work from there. If their fine with the "fade to black" sex scene, go with that. You need to target the lowest level of comfort within your group. If Player A is uncomfortable with anything more than implications and Player B wants detail, you need to work at Player A's level. Perhaps later on, after trust and comfort has been built up, you can start adding in more details, but you need to start with the lowest comfort level.

Next time, I'll talk about why you would want to involve this in your games. It certainly isn't necessary in any respect, but it does provide options for story that would otherwise be lacking.